i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize