why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
