What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
