Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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