I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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