and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
