you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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