my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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