I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Boobs are out for the taking
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
