Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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