My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my shit smells like andre
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
