why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
