so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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