kristin has been a bad kristin
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize