Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
