I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I understand Curling. That high.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
