Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
