Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
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We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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