I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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