We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
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He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
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You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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