I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize