I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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