I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
