The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
