I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
