we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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