I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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