She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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