Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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