I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
