i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
