hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
