She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
