Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
