you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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