Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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