Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think I died a long time ago.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
