you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
