"it" just moved
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
