It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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