90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
