Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize