Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
