Rock
Scissors
Fuck
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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