It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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