I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
