Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize