Walk of Shame. In a state park.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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