Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
