that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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