Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
