turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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