you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
