Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
