So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
