I'm gonna have a badass scar
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
