WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize