would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
