I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize